A Work in Progress

On Tuesday, April 26, Will writes about running into Jules alone in the hallway. He thinks about his mom urging him to put himself out there and let people see him. He considers it as Jules approaches but ultimately can’t talk to her. He berates himself for his actions.

Several hours later, he is in study hall. He hears girls playing “would you rather,” posing gross choices like “drink[ing] a glass / of someone else’s puke” against kissing him (111). The girls keep choosing the gross option.

When Will gets home, he locks himself in the bathroom, tears his clothes off, and looks at himself in the mirror. He critiques every aspect of his reflection. He starts punching and pushing his body, willing it to take a smaller shape.

That night, Will’s mom brings home pizza. He hears a new voice in his head telling him to “stop eating.” Instead, he eats what his thin mom is eating: plain chicken, brown rice, and steamed broccoli.

He is still hungry after dinner. He tries to sleep and defeat the urge to go downstairs and eat “more more more / more more” (134). He wonders what is wrong with himself.