Five Little Indians

“Now, he was too familiar with that feeling. Being totally helpless was his daily fare at the Mission. Being used to the feeling made it no easier.”

Kenny has just escaped from the Mission and charts his own course as he steers his boat to land. He compares his current feeling of agency with the memory of someone else controlling his life. Of course, he fails to realize that changing his location doesn’t mean that he has escaped the figurative prison within his mind.

“‘I just don’t know what to do.’ Bella squeezed Kenny’s hand. ‘It’s like most of me is gone and I can’t get it back.’”

Bella tries to explain to her son why she’s having so much difficulty coping with life even though he has returned. His absence for so many years and the uncertainty of ever seeing him again have damaged her psyche permanently. Now, she believes she can only numb that chronic inner void through alcohol.

“Behind the card she found five well-worn five-dollar bills. Lucy tucked the bills back into the envelope and carefully placed it in her new purse. An impermeable darkness filled her in the face of this appalling kindness.”

Sister Mary has just sent Lucy out into the world with a holy card and money. Lucy is stunned that the nun is capable of any act of kindness after so many years of casual cruelty. The hypocrisy of the gesture only increases Lucy’s confusion.