Held

The narrative skips forward 31 years and is now set in London. A first-person monologue by an unnamed woman describes a long, passionate affair that is conducted mostly in a small London flat; for 10 years, the speaker felt continually “naked,” susceptible at any moment to the “friction match” of her lover’s desire. Feeling “utterly consumed” by him, she lived for nothing else.

Helena, widowed in 1920 when John drowned himself, now lives alone in London and works in a bookshop. One rainy evening, a world-famous “miniaturist” painter named Graham Rhys enters the shop, and Helena attracts his eye. Though he leaves without speaking to her, she senses that their encounter is fated, as if his “future” had jostled hers off-course. Soon, he returns and offers to pay her to model for him. His request mystifies her, since she is 60 years old and considers herself to be a piece of fruit “turning soft.” Perhaps, she thinks later, he recognized her as the type of woman who could be “wounded” just once more. The payment he offers is very generous, so she agrees. While painting her, he asks about her life, and she mostly feeds him flamboyant lies, believing that lying about details, is a much lesser crime than lying about the “essence,” which she judges that he does constantly.