Maybe Next Time

Emma wakes up to the bicycle bell and the crack of sunlight. She turns over, and Dan says hello. Emma cries, exhausted from having witnessed his death and the aftermath for a second time. She remembers to take the cinnamon swirl with her when she leaves for work. In the text exchange, Emma leaves the playground committee group and blocks texts from the anxious author. Hattie asks about lunch.

As she avoids the cyclist, Emma wonders, “What could I change? What could I affect?” (198). At the café, she asks the barista’s name, and he says it’s Jurek. She’s struck by his kindness and the small moment of connection. She savors her latte and cinnamon swirl, which reminds her of her grandmother. She thinks about how different Dan is now than before their breakup, when grief over his mother’s death paralyzed him. At the office, Emma talks with Jas and decides not to go to Arthur’s meeting. She ignores many notifications and missed calls.

Emma goes to the clinic and demands to be seen for a head injury. The nurse refers her for a psychiatric evaluation, and Emma realizes that no one else can help her.