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“Now, when I think about it, the hair on my back bristles. The last time Connie and I were there, bad, bad smells soaked the place. Chemical smells—chemicals that singed my eyes, burned my nose, and hurt Connie.”
Stella thinks about the explosion frequently at the beginning of the novel because she is experiencing PTSD. This PTSD developed after she was in an explosion that killed her handler, Connie. At this point, she still does not understand that Connie is dead. This is because she does not understand all of the words that people speak. She will not understand that Connie is dead until Esperanza takes her to Connie’s grave.
“I ripped the pad, which wasn’t good, but I was mostly quiet and let my human sleep. I’m a good dog. Connie said so and I could trust Connie.”
Stella gets her sense of self-worth from humans. She trusts Connie, so she trusts Connie when she tells her she is good. Her sense of self-worth will be tested, however—first when she learns that Connie is dead and then when she runs from Cloe after the fireworks explode. One of Stella’s main psychological tasks in the novel is to learn that she can make mistakes and still be the good dog Connie told her she is.
“Between the man’s ear massage and her patting, I felt almost like a pup again, like when I was wedged in the nest with my mother. She would take turns licking my face and then my sisters’ and brothers’ faces. I loved it when we slept, and I got the spot near her chest and could feel her heart thumping against my fur.”
These words illustrate the main way that Stella experiences love. She likes physical affection and to be close to people and animals. Here she likes to be close and to be petted, and she remembers liking being near her canine family. This becomes important because by the end of the novel, she gets to sleep in Stella’s bed, which makes her very happy because of her love of physical affection.
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